My Films

Module 2 · Lesson 4 of 6

Show it on screen instead of explaining it.

A book can explain what someone feels. A film has to show it. This lesson turns explaining into things we can see.

The steps

  1. Books can explain. Films have to show.

Three swaps

  1. A thought becomes a look or a line. “She knew he was lying” becomes a long look, then “Try again.”

  2. Backstory becomes one detail in the room. Backstory is what happened before the story starts.

    For example: “They had been married forty years” becomes a wedding photo on the wall.

  3. A long description becomes one picture. A page about a run-down house becomes one shot of a sagging porch.

Say it once

  1. Say each important thing once. Viewers remember.

  2. If two lines say the same thing, keep the stronger one.

Find one to fix

  1. Read your scene and look for a sentence that explains. Words like “felt”, “knew”, “remembered” and “because” are clues.

  2. Ask: what would a camera see? Write that instead.

Your film

My Films

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Do this now

Find one sentence in your scene that explains something. Rewrite it as something we see.

Check yourself

  • Did you find a sentence that explains instead of shows?
  • Could a camera film your new version?
  • Is each important thing said only once?

If any answer is no, go back over the steps, or look below.

Stuck?

The feeling only works if I explain it.
Give the character a line that hides the feeling badly. “I’m fine,” from someone with red eyes, says more than a paragraph.
The backstory is important.
Pick the one detail that proves it: a photo, a scar, a name on a mailbox. Leave the rest for the book.
My scene is mostly a narrator talking.
Keep only the lines a character would say out loud. Turn the rest into things we see.

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